Parent/Teacher Conferences

Parent/Teacher Conferences - a love/hate relationship! I like meeting the parents (many for the first time, sad to say) and filling them in on how much I adore their kiddos. I don't like having to discuss behavior or educational problems with parents who look at me cluelessly and claim earnestly that their baby is a perfect angel who reads Shakespeare at home, so they just don't know what my problem is at school! I even more dislike parents who don't bother to show up, or have the common courtesy to call and TELL me they are not going to show up, for our one and only face to face meeting of the year.

Overall, this year's conferences went really well.

Pukey's mom told me that she had actually prayed for her daughter to be in my class, and she knew we were the perfect fit for one another.

Thing 1's step-mom and dad were very pleasant and fully supported the behavior contract I have him on.

Van Gogh's mom didn't come, but she at least had the decency to send a note that morning saying their car was broken and she couldn't make it. I don't know if that's actually true or not, but I appreciate the notice as opposed to being stood up.

Southern Belle's mom said that her daughter "simply loves y'all at this school!" and how good she felt about the move.

Princess' mom is unhappy that we don't have homework yet, and doesn't think the program is quite challenging enough (never mind that Princess has not mastered all of the skills I have introduced this year and is not a child I would even consider recommending for the Gifted Program!). I assured her that we would start having homework after Christmas and suggested that she look into those lovely workbooks you can buy at most of the big box stores if she wanted to supplement Princess' academic day. What I wanted to say was "come on! It's KINDERGARTEN! She's SIX! Her homework is to run, and play, and make up stories, and listen to you read, and decompress after 7 hours of being told to sit still, focus, and listen."

Toddler Girl's mom - my only no-show of the night. Which didn't surprise me, but did piss me off since A)I sent a very blunt note home in TG's folder that it was very important Mom come because we needed to discuss TG's SPED testing and B) I had assembled an entire team to meet with her but she didn't have the shred of decency required to call the school and say "not coming". So now we get to hound her via USPS to come in so we can do an IEP meeting and get Toddler Girl the help she needs.

My big surprise of the night came from the family of a little guy I haven't introduced yet. He's a nice kid, somewhat hyper but not outstandingly so, with a great giggle and a winning smile. I think I'm going to dub him Mr. Perfect. Not because he is, but because that is what the family expects of him. Dad wants to know why I don't require Mr. Perfect to color every picture on every paper fully and completely, using the correct colors (no purple zebras in his world!), and staying meticulously within the lines. He also wants to know why I don't demand type-quality handwriting, especially when it comes to Mr. Perfect's daily name writing practice, and why I allow him to get away with such shoddy things as backwards numbers and invented spelling. Poor Mr. Perfect! In a typical day he's a typical kid, funny and open, well liked by his classmates. With his family I saw a whole new side - very quiet, very contained, hands folded and eyes downcast. Dad informed me, with pride, that Mr. Perfect is not allowed to cry at home, crying is for sissies and babies, and men don't show wussy emotions. I was also told that whenever Mr. Perfect flips a card (one card!) at school Dad takes a toy from his room and smashes it with a hammer to teach him a lesson. Dad doesn't feel that Mr. Perfect is always honest about flipping those cards and would like me to send home a note every time he flips a card so that he can correct the behavior. I told Dad that typically I only contact parents when the child has flipped 3 or more cards in a day, unless the child is a constant behavior problem and is on a daily behavior report from me. I assured him that his son, who has only flipped cards 3 or 4 times this year and then only 1 card a day, is no where near daily behavior report level and that I was uncomfortable being placed in a "tattle-tale" position for him. In my head I thought "well, then Mr. Perfect just won't flip cards, I'll come up with some other discipline at school for him" because damned if I am going to be the cause of a basically sweet and good kid watching his toys get smashed because he ran in the hall or pushed his way into the middle of the line. Seriously, who is THIS HARD on their five year old? If Mr. Perfect was killing small animals, setting fires, and threatening to blow my f'ing head off (like Terrorist Girl from my 1st year of teaching K) then I might understand the military-ish stance of Dad. But this is an overall good kid and even good kids make mistakes now and then. So I guess I'm going to have to monitor Mr. Perfect's work a little closer, in hopes of keeping Dad off his back (and mine!) but in my head I'm going to be thinking "you poor kid! Life isn't supposed to be this harsh!"

So conferences are mostly over for the year. I still have to somehow talk to Van Gogh's mom - either face-to-face or over the phone - and Toddler Girl's mom is going to come in and meet with me whether she likes it or not!